Playing Hookie: What Will I Ever Do With Myself?

Every once in awhile I get a nagging feeling the night before work.  It's kinda like a frantic voice in the back of my head screaming, "I don't wanna and you can't make me!"  So I go to sleep and reevaluate in the morning.  And if I'm still feeling like I don't wanna, then I don't.  Of course I want to keep my job, so these little mental health days are reserved for the few times that the possibility of me combusting into flames if I walk within ten feet of my place of employment are high.   Today is that day.  I'm feeling the heat.

Now that I've Ferris Buellered my day out of work I'm trying to decide what to do with myself.  I mean I have the whole day and the possibilities are endless.  But so far I've managed to have my coffee.  Read some of my favorite blogs.  Facebook.  Oh, and have an Instagram photo shoot with the cat.  See...

 

None of this has required me to move off of the couch.  So while I'm dreaming up fun and exciting (and possibly unrealistic and maybe illegal) things to do, the reality is that I'll probably continue to do what I'm doing.  Or take a nap.  Because life is too short not to do nothing once in awhile.





Zombie Crabs From Outer Space Or Mr. Miyagi Rises From The Dead

I was pretty bummed yesterday when I went to go check on the hermit crabs and saw one that was dead.  I picked him up just to make sure.  No movement.  His little eyes lay flat.  I was even more bummed because we had Mr. Miyagi for two years. 

So I did the customary thing we do when one of the little critters goes to that big glass cage in the sky and I got a Ziploc bag to put him in (I don't recommend doing this with a dead dog or cat) and set him on the ledge by the stairs until we could get him buried.  I did think it was a little odd his body didn't slide out of the shell like the other hermit crabs we had.  But whatever.  He looked mighty dead so I went with it.

I picked the kids up from the park and told them the bad news and from there we went to the book store to drown our sorrows (perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic) in coffee and pastries.  Then to Gamestop and Target.  Let's just say we were gone awhile.  As soon as we got home I told them Mr. Miyagi was on the ledge if they wanted to see him and say goodbye. 

Imagine my freaking surprise when Tori says he's moving.  So maybe his body did slide out of the shell?  No, no, he's moving.  I'm a bit confused when I look in the bag and there's the "dead" crab out of the shell and another crab in the shell.  Oh holy crap, he was shedding his skin.  I knew they did that, but I've never seen one actually do it.

So we get him out of the bag and I'm worried because he's not moving too much.  I also notice he looks smaller.  And that's weird because don't they shed their skin when they grow?  So I figure the lack of oxygen from being in the bag has caused major damage and I set out to research, I don't know, crab CPR or something?

What I find out is that they can't move after shedding and they are in fact smaller.  So I didn't do permanent crab brain damage by locking the little dude in a Ziploc baggie.  Thank goodness.  Oh, and they usually eat their dead exoskeleton, so I just put that back in the cage.  You know, just in case he wanted to consume it.  It's still there, by the way.

Everything is cool in crab land until this morning and I find this:

 

Mr. Miyagi left his shell and in the meantime Angus is trying it out.  But not really.  He's just not letting anyone else have it.  He's sitting on it, still in his shell while Mr. Miyagi waits patiently to get it back.  So now what do I Google?  Bully hermit crabs on the playground?  I don't know, we'll figure it out.  After all this Mr. Miyagi is going to come out a survivor damn it!

 

 

What Doesn't Kill You Will Make You Really Freaking Whiny

It's Sunday.  Almost one o'clock.  I'm still in my PJ's and I've been on this computer longer than I should've been already.  It's not that I spent all day Saturday cleaning, doing laundry and grocery shopping so I could relax today.  No, it's all there waiting for me.  Loud and in my face.  I want to hoop too.  Maybe run some film to get processed.  I've been taking pictures, I just haven't done anything with the film yet.  I feel like time is running out and the better part of my Sunday will be spent comatose on the couch.

It's not so much that I'm lazy.  Maybe a little tired.  I'm just trying to prepare myself mentally for the work week coming up.  I've completed my second week of working 40 hours.  What do I think?  I think it's stupid.  But the check will be nice, so it will balance it out.  Maybe it's not so much that working 40 hours is stupid, just where I'm working.  Or maybe it's the office politics that drive me crazy.  I'm pretty sure it's a huge part of it.

My increase in hours has come during a huge shift in my workplace.  The crazy charge nurse is gone, that has made things peaceful.  Everybody can breathe.  But there is a new director.  And his new assistant.  I think.  No one is sure what the chain of command is and they were supposed to email us a chart.  If you have to email a chart maybe you have too many bosses?  Just my opinion. 

I'm beginning to see my co-workers true colors.  They are all very good nurses.  The best.  And I do enjoy working with them.  But on a personal level, let's just say I'm beginning to see how things really are.  I just want to keep it professional.  I don't want to go drinking with these ladies.  I was burned by one of them last week.  It resulted in me apologizing to someone else.  Someone who could hold a grudge.  Someone who reminded me of mommy dearest.  It was mentally draining.  I will avoid that this week, believe me.

Then there are the hospital wide changes coming.  Complete with an outside company coming to teach us all how to work as a group.  Or something.  If there are team building games involved I will be sick that day.  I just want to do my job. 

Also, there is the fact that I'm an introvert stuck in an extrovert's job.  Don't get me wrong, I love working with people.  It makes me feel good if I can help someone or make their day a little better.  But after spending 8 hours talking on the phone, checking in patients, dealing with nurses, doctors, their offices, case managers, translators and lost individuals I go home a bit fried. 

And it's windy outside.  I hate the wind.

So I'm sitting here on the couch trying to mentally prepare for the week ahead (throw some PMS into the mix) and it's possible that I'm losing the fight.  I think my only goal for the week will be not to throat punch anyone.  And maybe not whine too much, but that might be asking a lot.

Working 9 to 5

I have become a 40 hours a week worker.  For years I've been able to make my own schedule, kind of, and work when I want.  I've protected my right to free time and family time to those that just don't get it.  I've dodged being pulled in on my days off.  But no more.  I needed the 5th day and they needed me a 5th day, so I guess it worked out.  But I fought it for months.  It was hard for me to give up that extra day off that I've loved so much. 

To me, two days off doesn't seem like enough time to do all the things you want.  It probably isn't.  Maybe it is for some.  But it's 10:32 and I'm sitting in bed, writing a blog post and watching Metal Mania on VH1 Classic.  I will probably still be sitting here at 11:32 because it's my day off and I want to relax.  Sometime Sunday evening I will start freaking out about the cleaning, grocery shopping and laundry.  It's just how I do things.  I'm not a super achiever mom.  I procrastinate.  And if there is a choice between chores and fun, well fun will usually win out.  So yeah, I'm a little worried about not having that extra day. 

Did I mention I'm so lucky to have a husband that accepts my slacker ways and helps me out when I'm doing my freak out thing?  And the kids are super helpful.  You wouldn't think it would be a problem.  I'm really good at talking them into slacking with me.  Who the hell wants to slack by themselves?

But I will be honest, the week wasn't so bad.  I like the department that I work in now and it's like my home at work.  I used to float around but this is MY department now.  And since they got rid of the crazy charge nurse last week it's been relaxed.  I love all the other people I work with.  So if I have to be away from home for 40 hours a week at least it's with people I like.  How many people can say that?

 

Happy Is The Word Of The Day!

"Happy" is the word of the day!  Do you know what makes you happy?  I had some posts that I wanted to write, but I think today I will just list a few simple pleasures that bring joy to my life.  After all I'm off today and the sun is shining.  I guess you can count that as one.  Some others are:

Waking up on my day off and having a cup of coffee and reading my favorite blogs while the kids are still asleep.

The feeling I get when I clock out of work and have 2 or 3 days off.

Laying in bed and listening to Matt play his guitar in the other room.

That's only a few.  What little things bring joy to your life?

A Confession: I Can Be Such A Judgemental A-Hole

When Tori was little she loved the red, glittery shoes at Target and red nail polish.  I didn't let her have them.  It was tacky.  And no tennis shoes with dresses.  That's tacky too.  There's a whole list of tacky, but I won't get into it.  You might be thinking I'm kind of a bitch?  I should have let her have those shoes she loved so much?  Yeah, you're right.  But read on. 

These were all the things I heard my mother say when I was a kid.  She's all about appearance, illusion and and making everything look perfect (and it's all smoke and mirrors people.)  Kids listen and pick up on these things.  Even if we don't agree with our parents all the time, sometimes their voices gets stuck inside our heads and masquerade as our own.  It's not always a pretty thing.  There are times when I have focused more on what other people think than what is good for me.  Appearance, illusion and perfection.  I had to take myself off of auto-pilot to hear myself think.  To breathe.  To filter out the crap and discover who I am.  Here is some of that very crap I found rolling around in that head of mine (what an asshole):

Listen to music I don't like?  You don't know good music.  (Of course I'm not going to tell you that I have guilty pleasures and like music that everyone might think sucks.)

You're all glittered up to go out?  Tacky.  (Oh who the hell am I kidding?  I freaking love glitter, that must have been left over from my mother.)

You're furniture is more comfy than it is Crate and Barrel?  Tacky. ( I really prefer comfy though and regret the money I spent on my damn furniture.)

Don't follow the same parenting philosophy that I do?  You are wrong, plain and simple.  (What I won't say is that I've changed my philosophy a couple of times based on what works for us and what doesn't.)

We all make judgements, but I think I might have been crossing the line into hypocrite territory over here.  Not cool.  And it's kept me from doing things that I really want just for the sake of appearances.  Like rolling around in a tub of glitter.  When I think back, I wish I had bought those shoes for Tori, because she thought they were fabulous and it shouldn't have mattered what anyone else thought about it.  Including me (of course secretly I thought they were fabulous too.)

The moral of the story is be careful what attitudes you pass on to your kids and for goodness sake, buy the red glittery shoes (or whatever.)  Buy some for yourself too.  Lighten up a little.  Don't worry about what people will think.  Just be yourself.  Let your kids be themselves.

The "I Don't Want My Couch To End Up In The Staircase" Post

I didn't know what else to name this post.  I'm sure I could have thought of something else, but I just really didn't feel like it.  Anyway, do you ever just want to take everything out of your house and start over?  Just do a total makeover?  I'm kinda thinking about it.  But not in a Better Homes and Gardens kind of way.  I'm not looking to make things fancy or frou frou.  Quite the opposite.  Not that I want a trashy, cluttered house.  Maybe simple is the word?  Or comfortable?

My house gives me the feeling that it's one big project that was never finished.  OK, actually that is what it is.  After taking time to think about it and asking everyone what they think, we decided what we want is space that can meet every one's needs.  These needs would include hooping, gaming, working out (Matt style, not hooping style), playing guitar, and a place where we can all hang out to watch movies or play a game.  The way it is now, I feel like we're kinda separated.  Not that we need to be in each others faces 24/7, but you know...

I think I have something in mind.  I'm a little nervous that it will turn into "that unfinished project" part one-million.  You know, like we have to jump over the couch in the staircase because we just got too lazy to move it all the way downstairs and we'll do it later and later becomes a year.  Yeah, that.  So I'm not going to go into detail until we start.  And maybe until we finish because I don't want to be laughed at with my couch in the staircase.